Chapter 39

The next time I walk into the office I let Kal know that the option of Jersey City works great I just want to know if I can schedule all three days back to back so the commute wouldn't be as annoying.  He doesn't see why not.  He'd like one of them to be the 2nd Tuesday of a month so he and I could continue our schedule of our planning sessions.  I agree and the wheel is set in motion.  

I am so happy when I return to my desk that I just have to tell Jon I love him so much.  I decide I haven't sent him a love email in a while so I begin to just let my thoughts flow from my fingers.

<<Jon,

What can I say to you that I have not already said? There are no words that will ever fully express my love for you. Today, after taking a few deep breathes and truly focusing on what I feel I can tell you, I am ready, willing, and excited to become your wife. I am so happy and grateful that God has placed you in my life. I read a poem when I was young, twelve, maybe thirteen that said I swore to GOD I would never settle for less than the best when it came to loving a man, I waited so long that GOD saw I wasn't bluffing and sent me you. I truly believe that you were chosen just for me. I could not have asked for a better man to love me. You are my soul mate.

Soon, we will stand before God, our family, and our friends and vow our love to each other. I promise to always love, honor, and respect you for as long as I live. I will always think of how my actions and reactions affect you.  Maybe not my first thought because we both know I can get a little emotional.  I will always be there for you emotionally and physically. I appreciate and love you for who you are and who you have caused me to be.

Because of you, I laugh, I smile, I dare to dream again. I believe again Jon.

From this day forward, let us grow, together and individually. Let us make life decisions together. Let us be quick to love and slow to anger. Let us be understanding.

I am now and will forever be yours through whatever life brings us. I will be faithful to you and I believe in you Jon. There is so much more I could say but I am going to spend the rest of my life showing you what you mean to me.

Just thought you needed to know a few things :)

I love you baby see you tonight,

Serena>>

I go about my day working on Nashville and different things I could get hopping in that city for GO.  I'm zoned out and miss lunch completely and I go and grab something from the vending machine and come back to my desk and see an email from Jon.

<<Serena,

Wow, I only have one word. WOW.  Baby you made me cry with your email, hearing you or seeing you rather tell me how much you love m and how it just was something you needed me to know makes my heart sing.

You hit the nail on the head with that and I can tell you because of you, I laugh, I smile, I dare to trust again.

I look forward with great joy to spending the rest of my

life with you.

On the day I become your husband I will stand with you in

the presence of God and all of our witnesses, I will give you my solemn vow to stay by your side, In sickness and health, in joy and sorrow.  I will promise to love you without reservation baby, you will never have distress in your life again without me by your side to comfort you.

I promise from now until the end of time I will be honest and open with you and cherish you forever.

I promise you my love, that I will give you the best of myself and never ask more of you than you can give. I promise to accept you for who you are.  I fell in love with you and I'm not about to try to change you.

Love you babydoll, can't wait to see you later.

Jon>>

When I got that email I smiled and picked up my cell typing a simple 813 to Jon and smiled.

He responded back quickly, *?* I of course smiled again and texted back to him, *google it hot stuff*

The rest of the day went by quickly and I made some great contacts with a photo safari company trying to get them to partner with me on getting business stirred up in New York and Nashville.  Both cities have been great tourist areas and the execs I am talking to see the benefit of having another person pushing their organization.

At the end of the day I jump on the train and head home, I get a text from my man that says *813 to you too sexy, ETA I am cooking*

I text him back laughing out loud at how casual and low maintenance that our relationship has become. What I love is that I have this and I'm not scared of losing it anymore.  He is mine. I know that without a shadow of a doubt.

*ten minutes honey please don't burn the house down*

*spanking 1 - how many you going for tonight sexy?*

*I have been a very bad girl I'll tell you all my crimes when I see you.*

*I'll just start at 10 and work from there. 813*

I realize with that Jon has a new way of saying I love you that is going to stick and feel even more pleased that he does have it.  He is mine and I really have to impress upon him when I see him tonight that I love the fact that I have that in my life now.

I get off the train and walk down the street to our place and when I walk in he wraps me in his arms from behind and kisses my neck.  "Hey hot stuff, I've missed you. This work thing isn't working for me, you left me home all day and you know what that does?"

"What does that do babe?" I hold his hands in front of him.

"It makes me want you and miss you so much that I just can't keep control of myself."

"Well then who says you have to control yourself baby I'm all yours, forever."

His hands locked and his body stepped closer to me before he kissed my neck.  "I Love you baby I can't wait to marry you"

At that point she kissed him and pulled her tablet out of her purse.  "Baby I found more stuff for the wedding."

"Good my dear so come over here and cuddle up with me while you tell me all about your ideas." He pulled her to the couch and sat down and they discussed the new items she chose.

Months go by and they quickly pack up their lives in Chicago and move to New Jersey.  GO Industries gives all of their employees the two weeks off between Christmas and New Years so they take the week before that off on vacation and they complete their move.

We spend Christmas in New Jersey with his family, his mom and dad open their home to me on Christmas day and the kids adore me and pull me into any traditions they have.  Even Dorothea and I get along.  We talk on Christmas Eve when she comes to see the family and I tell her that I have no desire to be the kids mom, I will be Jon's wife and that is where its going to end I will be their confidant and a role model but they have a mom.

"Why are you so point blank about this?"

"Because Dorothea I do not have parents any longer, I know how valuable they are and how treasured.  I am not about to come in between you and your kids. Jon and I will share a home but we will share that home with them.  I want them to feel and know they are welcome in our home at any time but its never going to be a game of lets put dad's wife against mom to see who will give in.  I am not threatened by the relationship you have with Jon because I know your romance and love are something from the past and I recognize that  you created two gorgeous and amazing kids with him. I know that you will forever be linked by those young adults but I also know he's mine so as long as we understand each other there will be no issues."

Dorothea from that point forward does not even try to come in between anything Jon and I do.  She did not ever really try to interfere before but now she's invested in Jon and I getting married because she likes the idea of someone strong in Jon's life.  Truth be told after all these years she has realized that she wasn’t the right fit for him. She needed too much from him, she needed him to not work every day and to be home every night.  She was scared to spend the night alone in a house without him.  She went from her parents house to his house and that was something that Jon wasn’t able to give. She never was independent enough for him and she see’s that Serena is strong, stronger than she should have to be at this age but it shines through.  She’s strong enough to keep Jon in line and to keep him happy. What she doesn't know of course is that Serena the farthest thing from strong.  She’ll never know that when Serena met Jon he allowed her to start healing slowly. Allowing her to feel safe and loved so that she could find the superglue in the back of the closet to glue her shattered heart together.